Christi’s Corner

When Allen was diagnosed with Lung Cancer, we became part of this “family”.. meeting other people  who were going thru this same battle and journey as we were.  One in particular has been close to my heart.  Julie found me on a Facebook group.  The group is focused on lung cancer and most of the people in this group seemed to have focused on the negatives of the disease.  And trust me there are far more negatives than positives obviously.  But I wanted to post something on there to tell Allen’s story and about having the right attitude and such can take you far.  You never know how far+. but at least at the time you are here, its about living the best life you can.

Julie’s brother Tom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer just over a year ago.  A young man in his early 30s, never smoked, living a full life until he became ill and nobody knew at first what it was.  So unfair.  Julie read my post and liked how I kept it positive and messaged me on Facebook.  From that moment, I knew we would be forever friends.  We got to know eachother thru many emails.  Her family lives in the Chicago area but she grew up in Arizona where her brother and family live.  At the time Allen was going thru his intense chemo and radiation so it was nice to have Julie to talk to and vice versa.  Last summer it was an honor to meet Julie and her family (unfortunately we didn’t get to meet Tom) but we met in San Diego while Julie’s family was vacationing down there.  It was so much fun!  It was like we had known eachother forever.

So this past 13 months, Tom had his ups and downs, but, he lived this past year to the fullest.  He married his sweetheart in Hawaii, they took many trips together and were around family much of the time.  His wife Amber is a saint!  For such a young woman, she cared for him with everything she had.  She loved him to the fullest.  They have such a supportive family and Julie was so fortunate to be able to make trips to Arizona on a drop of a dime to visit.

When I got the email from Julie this past week of Tom’s passing, it broke my heart.  How could this be?  This is so unfair!  I immediately fell into tears.  It reopened a can of emotions I haven’t visited for a little while anyway.  As I layed in bed and weeped, Allen held me and we were sad together.

In the same email she thanked me for my support. I wanted her to know, it doesn’t end here.  We are forever friends and I hope we can always stay connected.  As I told her, it was because of Tom and Allen that we were able to come together become connected the way we are.  I enjoy knowing she is out there and think of her and her family during this sad time.

Allen took Luc yesterday to daycare and went on his way to San Diego to start his first day of work.  He is down there for the next couple days.  I surprised Allen by having a basket of flowers, little teddy bear, Hershey kisses and a congratulations balloon waiting for him in his hotel room, with a note signed from me and the kids.  It was wonderful speaking to Allen last night as I could tell in his voice he sounded excited about being productive and back in the working world.  That really made me happy!! Luckily my brother and his family live right by his office out there, so he met up with them for dinner and he bought some Girl Scout cookies from my niece.  Tonite he will have dinner at their house which is really nice.

Luc survived his first full day of daycare.  He was so excited when I picked him up after work.  I got lots of hugs!!  The cool thing is, he was excited to head back over there this morning.  I’m glad he feels comfortable there.

The kids and I had dinner last night together and spoke about our day.  Dakota had a couple new classes which she said she thinks she will enjoy.

Tonite after work, I will pick up the kids and head over to my mom’s for dinner.  I can hardly wait!!

I guess tomorrow would be the final piece of closure for Allen in this journey he has been on in the last year and a half.  I guess that was sort of chapter one.  Tomorrow morning he starts his first day back at work after being diagnosed with cancer, aggressive chemo treatment, and being laid off from a company he had been with for a while.  This is the new chapter.  Allen will drop off Luc at Luc’s first day of full time daycare and then head on his way to San Diego in the morning.  Wow.  Its so bittersweet in a way.  But its all so positive too.

Today Dakota had the day off from school so Allen took her and Luc to the Santa Barbara Zoo for his last “Mr. Mom” day!  Haha! The kids seemed to have had a nice time and Allen too.  I was stuck at work but I can’t complain too much.  I’m happy to have a job and income coming in!

Dakota is starting her second semester of 8th grade tomorrow with a couple new classes.  She made the honor roll again this past semester with a 3.67 GPA.  I’m so proud of her!! 

I felt a little sad tonite as I started packing up Luc’s bag for daycare.  Poor little guy is so use to being home with Daddy most of the time, I’m sure this will be rough at first.  But then again, like I mentioned in my earlier blog, hes been going to this daycare now 2 days a week in the mornings since the summer so I think he will be fine.

I look back at when the “normal” was Allen working in the Calabasas area and getting up early like the rest of us and getting out the door early like the rest of us and we would all reunite for dinner after school and work.  And how quickly things can change and the “normal” is gone and you have to adjust to a “new normal”…and then another “new normal” and now another “new normal”…  Any normal is fine as long as he stays healthy and the meds keep working.  We have all learned to adjust pretty well around here

Well.. who knew that I jumped the gun over a month ago thinking Allen had got that job when they said they were going to hire him but ended up dragging their feet in sealing the deal with him.  But after lots and lots of patience on our end, they did finally hire him yesterday!  He made another trip back to San Diego and was there for majority of the day.  I told him not to come home unless they made him an offer (half way kidding of course!).. but they did make him an offer and he starts on Monday!!  And as the sprinkles on the cupcake go, Dr. Goldman’s office called to let him know his recent blood test showed his CEA count shows the numbers are still dropping!!  Which is a great thing as it tests the cancerous cells in his body!!

Allen leaves for San Diego next week for a few days.  He will be required to go there probably once a month but otherwise he gets to work from home.  He will also make other trips to maybe Northern Cali and other places time to time as well. 

Luc will start full time daycare next week.  Kind of a big transition for both him and Allen.  I can see there will be some separation anxiety with both of them!  Luckily we already have him going to a home daycare 2 days a week in the mornings, so the adjustment won’t be that huge as he is already comfortable with Phyllis his daycare provider and the other kids who go there.  It will just be new for him to learn that he will now nap there and won’t see mom and dad until close to 4 or 5pm Monday-Thursday.  But again, this will help when eventually I transition Luc to a regular preschool setting probably when he turns 3.

Other than that, we survived the recent storms we had here.  I’ve heard more are on their way but for now its been sunny skies which has been nice.

Friday morning I woke up and thought to myself “Please let this be a nice, relaxing weekend.”  Hours later, I was in the car with Allen and Luc driving to the ER.  Allen was having severe pain in his abdomen and I didn’t think it was best to take any chances with his health so off we went.  After probably 8 long hours, it was decided he had several kidney stones.  For the first few hours, I had Luc with me in the waiting room (Dakota was in school).. and at some point I left the hospital and took Luc over to my mom’s house so he could nap.  When I returned, they were getting ready to take Allen in for an ultra sound.  When we first arrived, luckily the ER was basically empty and the waiting room was as well.  But by the time I came back after dropping Luc off, it was packed!  It started grossing me out sitting in there so I ended up sitting in my van listening to music.  Luckily a good friend of mine was in the area and was so kind to bring me food! (Thank you Jorge!!)  I didn’t want to leave the parking lot as I had a good parking spot in case Allen couldn’t walk far when he was released and it was so busy there that parking was slim to none.  So with Jorge bringing me something to eat, I was able to hang out until finally that evening Allen was released.  The Dr. there said he had about 3 to 4 more stones to pass and sent him on his way with 2 types of pain meds.  He will need to see a Urologist this week for a check up but so far he has been ok.

Meanwhile.. I was honored to have been given 5 Los Angeles Kings hockey tickets from Luc Robitaille.  I gave them to Allen as a Hanukkah gift.  The game was yesterday against Boston.  We ended up taking Dakota and her best friend Sammi and a friend I reconnected with on FB after not seeing each other for close to 20 years!  She also is a huge Kings fan.  So we all drove down to the Staples Center and went to the VIP will call box for the tickets.  I had no idea what kind of seats we had been given but I handed the envelope to Allen and immediately his eyes popped out and mouth dropped!  We had seats right on the ice, next to the Kings bench!  And it just so happened that Luc Robitalle and The Rock threw down the first puck that day.  It was so cool!  Inside the envelope, we were also given passes to the Chairman’s Club for food and drinks.  It was so amazing!  The game couldn’t have been any more exciting either.  Boston led by two goals but the Kings came back at the end and then it went into overtime and then into a shoot out!  Allen was sooo excited!  The Kings won which was the sprinkles on the cake!

Seriously, its never a boring moment over here.  Always something.  The good, the bad and the ugly!  Haha!

Hope everyone has a great week!  (Allen will be busy delivering kidney stones so wish him luck!)

I blogged last October about a girl who was Dakota’s age who died from cancer.  She had a couple different types of cancer since she was 5 years old.  She had been thru about 20 surgeries in her short life along with lots of chemo treatments and also losing her leg to it.

Dakota and I had first met Jeanette when the girls were 5 years old.  There was an article in the local paper where they told the story of Jeanette who was undergoing treatment for her cancer.. she had a pet Beagle named Cosmo who ran out the front door into the main road and got hit and killed by a car.  Dakota and I jumped on that opportunity and although we couldn’t afford to get her a real Beagle, we went to Toys r Us and got her a stuffed animal Beagle and Dakota beaded a necklace and put it around the stuffed animal’s neck. We brought this to Jeanette and this was our first meeting with Jeanette, her brother Johnny and their Auntie Rosemary who has raised the kids since they were babies.  (Mom and Dad were never in the picture due to being in and out of jail so Auntie Rosemary became their legal guardian.  Her father actually died a few years ago from a stabbing.)

Jeanette’s brother Johnny is a year younger than Jeanette and they were best of friends.  Rosemary says Jeanette was Johnny’s rock.  (I felt honored that the two of them were able to come to one of Dakota’s parties back when we had first met.)

Anyhow, I knew after I had learned that she had died, even though we had fell out of touch, I wanted to revisit Rosemary and Johnny and bring something to them.  I knew where they lived but it never felt like the “right” day to stop by.  So last Thursday after work, I was driving by their house and it hit me that evening.  I went to pick up Dakota from a friend’s house and we stopped by Blockbuster to pick up some popcorn and some goodies and also a gift card and then made it over to Rosemary’s house.

Johnny answered the door and I asked for his Aunt.  She came to the door and I reintroduced Dakota and myself to her.  She remembered us and she invited us in right away.  We spoke about how 8 years seemed to have passed so quickly since we had last met.  She went on to tell us and basically “catch us up” on what they have been thru this past 8 years.  I really didn’t expect her to have to rehash what she had been thru since it was so tragic but I think she wanted to and maybe it helped her.  There were a lot of tears from all of us.  She shared a lot of bittersweet stories about Jeanette.  She explained how the holidays were so difficult this year without her and also entering a new year without her as well.  She spoke about how Jeanette always had tons of future goals and plans in her life but at some point last year she had stopped talking about them.  Rosemary told me how Jeanette told her that she wasn’t afraid to die but she was afraid to continue life with the cancer and all the treatments.  And in the end, she was in the hospital and was told she would need a breathing tube which was nothing new to her but something she hated the most.. and thats when she told her Aunt “no more, no more” and refused the breathing tube.  She died about 20 minutes later.

As Rosemary told us these stories, I sat there with Jeanette’s dog (Cosmo #2) on my lap.  Such a sweet dog that was apparently Jeanette’s baby.

I left Rosemary letting her know what a saint she was.. an unmarried woman without children of her own, taking on these two babies and raising them.  Never knowing the heartache she would have to endure thru it all.  Thats when she told me “If I had to, I’d do it all over again for her.”  I told her she was an inspiration to me not only as a mother figure but also as a caretaker.  She is amazing!  Her and Johnny thanked us for stopping by and bringing the goodies.  She said she wanted me to stop by more often.  Which most defiantly is my plan.  I’d love to take her to lunch next time!  And even have Johnny come over to hang out sometime as well.

Rosemary told Dakota to check out Jeanette on you tube.  Jeanette had wanted a “movie” about her life done..so some friends put it together like a little interview.  She said it was important that Johnny was a big part of it.  One story I found that was very sweet was an interior designer had asked Jeanette if she could re-do her room anyway she wanted it.  Jeanette insisted that Johnny’s room was done too or he would feel left out.  Both rooms were done right away!  To check out Jeanette, goto you tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0fZNdHrks8&NR=1  There are about 6 different segments.  We will miss her!!

Just a quick update…  Allen did get the job but we have just been waiting on the negotiations about pay and so forth.. so he doesn’t really have the job yet but its still in the works…but I think there is a light at the end of this tunnel…

Allen got his scan results back for both his PET scan and the brain MRI and everything looks great.  No, he’s not cured, yes there are still tumors in his lungs and 3 different spots on his bones BUT there is no new activity which is wonderful!!  In fact, they did notice that the main tumor in one of his lungs has shrunk a bit which is amazing and really makes us happy!!

Things are starting to slowly fall into place for us again..with 2009’s set back we have a lot of catching up to do.  I know having Allen feeling well and keeping everything stable is most important and then him finding this job is runner-up so we can get back on track financially.

Moving forward…

We spent the first night at the Donny & Marie show which was so much fun!!  I don’t know if I mentioned it in my previous blog or not but Donny & Marie was my first concert, first Barbie type dolls, first posters, first lunchbox, first almost everything!  Also probably why I love the color purple!!  So it was really fun to see them.  They look amazing  in their 50s!  Dancing with the Stars has done amazing things with their bodies as well!! 

The following night, Allen and I went to The Beatles Cirque du Soleil show.  I have never been to a Cirque du Soleil and it was VERY interesting!!  HA!  I call it a circus on crack!!  I loved that it was a Beatles theme though.  It made it so much more exciting and interesting.  The music was awesome of course!

Allen and I enjoyed walking the strip.  We must have walked several miles a day!!  We would stop into shops and stop to eat but a lot of the day was just walking and holding hands.  It couldn’t have got any better than that! 

A funny part of this trip was, Allen had told me what the temps would be like in Vegas before we left.  So knowing it was going to be cold and then colder at night, I brought along 3 different jackets.  Each one a little heavier than the next.  Well, Allen FORGETS his jacket!  (Duh!)  Anyhow, the first night at the hotel, we were in a shop and he had spotted this jacket he loved.  And it looked amazing on him as well.  But he didn’t want to buy it for himself as things have been tight for us.  Well, the one of the few times we were apart this whole trip, which was the 2nd night in Vegas, he went to the van to get some Advil for me and to make sure the van was ok and everything, so I booked it to this store for the  jacket!!   Luckily they had only one more in his size, so I got the jacket and ran back up to the room, took off the tags and hung it in the closet he had all his clothes in.  I was able to get the jacket and have it hung before he got back.  Later that night, it was time to get ready to out and he opened his closet.. didn’t see the jacket right away but when he did, he was practically in tears.  I knew how much he loved and wanted that jacket.  He was so happy and I was glad I went ahead and got it for him too.  It looks great on him and it kept him nice and cozy the rest of our trip   Next trip I’M forgetting my jacket!! HAHA!!  Just kidding!

The final night we were in Vegas, we went to a nice Japanese restaurant to celebrate my Bday and then did a little more shopping and came back to the room.  Knowing Allen likes to play blackjack, I told him he should go and play.  He said he felt weird for leaving me to go play but I didn’t mind.  Needless to say, he was gone for 2 hours and came back with an extra $50 in his pocket! 

It was such a fun trip but it was definitely nice to come home to the kids and our house.  I won’t miss the smoke-filled rooms (it made me sick to walk through the casinos, yuck! I definitely didn’t want my husband who has lung cancer in those rooms either!) and I probably won’t miss the silly drunk people.  But hey, that’s Vegas baybee!

Bellagio fountain view from our hotel room during the day

Bellagio fountain view from our hotel room at night

Al & I in Vegas (Nice jacket sweetie!!)

I am very glad its 2010 and 2009 is behind us!!  Things are so much better today for my family then they were a year ago at this time.  I am definitely thankful for that!

I had to work yesterday but to make it fun for everyone, I stopped by the store and bought some chips and salsa, cookies, sparkling apple cider, and some New Year’s Poppers.  (Of course some margaritas would have made it more fun but I decided I need to keep my job for 2010!)  The phones were slow if not dead in the office so most of us were just mingling around and socializing.  We all left early for the day.

Of course Dakota was really excited about New Year’s Eve.  She had been home all day in PJs just relaxing and was happy I was home early.  Allen made tacos for dinner which were delicious and the rest of the evening was spent playing our new Wii games we got for Christmas.  I sort of turned into a party pooper and  an old lady and was exhausted by 9:30.  Allen said he’d stay up with Dakota. With Luc already in bed, I turned in early for the night too.  Dakota was disappointed in me because we like to watch the ball drop together but I wasn’t going to make it.

Anyhow, as far as resolutions go, since I spent 2009 focusing on my family and taking care of everyone, especially while Allen was ill, I want to spend 2010 getting myself back into shape & start feeling good about myself again.  I also want to do more volunteering in the community.

Tomorrow Allen and I leave for Vegas!  I can hardly wait!

Wishing everyone a wonderful and healthy 2010!!

Allen is taking me to Vegas for my Birthday this year.  We have never been together and I haven’t been since my 30th Birthday.  Allen has left over hotel points from his previous job that he has to use, so he looked into some hotels in Sin City.  What a surprise that he was able to book 3 nights FREE (using his points) at my favorite hotel, The Belaggio!  He also booked a couple shows he knew I would like.  He got discounted tickets to see Donny & Marie (my childhood favorites) and also The Beatles Love Cirque de Soleil show!  I’m looking forward to some time alone with Allen.  We always enjoy long drives together so the drive to and from Vegas will also be part of the fun.  Can’t complain about getting older with a family and life like mine!!  Hopefully I’ll have some fun pics to share when we return!!